Miss Mandie

I recently had one of those days.

You know the ones.

The kind of day when everything seems to go wrong.

When nothing seems to flow smoothly or easily.

You are tripped up, tripped over and tripped out…

I forgot I had to scan my acceptance letter for impending new job and deal with the broken scanner before a midday appointment, putting me in a rush to get everything done in the morning.

I tripped with my laptop in my hand and dropped it, sending shards of its case flying upon impact with the hard wooden floorboards, as I carried it to the phone.

I then spent an unsuccessful half hour trying to connect to Lexmark technical support to get help with my printer that refuses to download the apparently very necessary “application list” in order for me to scan. It seems the only department in the Philippines call centre that could help me had problems with its phone lines, which meant I was disconnected rather inconveniently only after I had waited in queue for them. This happened three times before I realised I didn’t have time to continue the attempts.

I spilled my water bottle on the rug as I was leaving the house.

Upon starting the car, the petrol tank light flashed bright amber to highlight my deficiency in remembering to fill it up the day before.

The appointment I had turned out to be an actual interview, which was something I only discovered near the end of the conversation. So rather than it being a “meet’n’greet to finalise the appointment of some casual contracting” it was actually a “we’ve narrowed it down to two candidates and we’ll call you”.

The friend I met up with for coffee was so consumed in her own stuff that she couldn’t even to pretend to care about what I had to say.

When I eventually got home, I left my soup on too long and boiled it dried.

Like I said, it was just one of those days.

So how do we make it through these days without kicking the dog, screaming at the kids (I can imagine that could happen if you had them), driving like a maniac, and generally having a mini-emotional meltdown?

I’ve realised it comes down to how big a catastrophe we choose to view all the little occurrences during our days.

For example:

- Forgetting important scanning job:

Catastrophe: faark! I’m never going to get everything done in time. Why did I have to open Twitter before looking at my “to-do list”. God, I am such a loser – who forgets they had to scan their acceptance letter for their new job and instead lazes around in her pjyama’s for hours browsing the Internet!? My new employers are going to think I am the most disorganised, unreliable person.

Non-catastrophe: okay, it makes sense I would forget to look at my to-do list; it’s only the second day in over a year that I have written one. It will be interesting when I start work next week and I don’t have a luxurious 24 hours available to me at home to get everything done. I am sure there is another solution to me scanning the document if I don’t get it sorted this morning.

- Dropping expensive, fragile equipment on hard surfaces

Catastrophe: OMG, what if it doesn’t turn back on again!? I totally can’t afford to buy a new one right now. I am sure something is going to go wrong with it. My last laptop died because I wasn’t careful with it. I’m such a klutz.

Non-catastrophe: you know what, these things are pretty sturdy, and I am lucky it landed slightly on the corner of the rug. Could have been worse. I have also been thinking how nice it would be to become one of those always-happier-than-pc Mac users. I am so pleased I accepted all those generous credit card limit increases the bank always offered me when I paid it off in time – I know there is more than enough room to put a new computer on it.

* note – computer still works fine despite my abuse!

- Being completely unsuccessful in resolving printer problems

Catastrophe: I knew I shouldn’t have expected to get a resolution to this problem – this bloody printer has never worked properly. And don’t even get me started on international call centres – they’re so painful to deal with. I guess I should just completely write the money off that I paid for this printer.

Non-catastrophe: Remember how helpful the HP international call centre was when I had problems with my laptop? They solved my problem better than the American HP centre. And if I wasn’t in such a rush, I wouldn’t mind emailing them with my enquiry instead and waiting for a response. I think the printer is still under warranty too, so if I really want to, I can arrange to return it and buy a Canon.

- Spilling water

Catastrophe: Well that is just bloody typical isn’t it! Just as I am rushing out the door, finally with everything in order to get to this appointment, I knock over my drink bottle. Sheesh!

Non-catastrophe: It’s just water. Thank god it wasn’t my left over cuppa from earlier. I’ll just throw a tea towel over it and i’ll be dry before I get home. No use crying over spilt water.

- Empty petrol tank

Catastrophe: I am such a moron for not filling up petrol yesterday when the light first appeared and I had the time. What made me think I would have time today with all these things to do!? I’m never gonna make it all the way to Byron on this tank.

Non-catastrophe: I remember driving over 50km in the desert with that amber light flashing, I am sooooo gonna make it to Byron with it on empty.

- The appointment that was actually an interview

Catastrophe: wtf!? How could such a miscommunication occur, I mean helloooo, big difference between coming in to make sure we click before a contract gig as opposed to being interviewed for a position. God, what would I have done/said differently if I knew this gig wasn’t already mine?

Non-catastrophe: I can see how the error occurred; I made an assumption because the assistant who made the appointment didn’t use the word “interview”.  Judging how I handled myself in my last interview, I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I am naturally bubbling and talkative and open. If they don’t want me based on the full disclosure of all that is fabulous and infectious about me, then that’s fine. I also know I never have to worry about missing out on things that are meant for me. So if it’s meant to be, I’ll get the job.

- Absent friend

Catastrophe: god I miss my Brisbane friends. I just haven’t found many people in this area that I really click with. Maybe I should think about moving back to Brisbane, so I can be around my friends again.

*note: this is proof that my catastrophic voice here is not my real voice…I would never consider moving from The Forest, no matter how few friends I have here!

Non-catastrophe: I know she is going through a rough patch, so I totally get why she isn’t that interested in hearing how great my life is right now. I have had so many moments of great connection in the past and I know her heart is so firmly in the right place. She’ll get through this and be happy to engage with me again soon enough.

- Burning dinner

Catastrophe: seriously, after all that has gone on today, I can’t even get through making dinner without ruining it!? I don’t even have the energy to make something new. It’s all because I am on this stupid anti-sugar diet that refuses me even ready-made stock, which was the reason I was boiling it so much. Screw this day for a joke!

Non-catastrophe: I think I caught it right in time before the burnt taste permeated everything in the saucepan. I reckon I can salvage pieces of the remainder and creatively make a “super soft vegetables and fish” arrangement. I actually think the burnt bits give it extra flavour.

Let’s be honest, that ever so critical, judgemental voice in our head is always there just waiting to jump on the catastrophe bandwagon and consume us with its negativity, drama and internal abuse.

I have definitely fallen victim to catastrophising my day’s events in the past. I use to emotionally react and turn them into a big deal.

I would be left feeling depleted, upset, unappreciated, depressed; like an absolute train wreck after battling my way through the day.

So how do I make the non-catastrophic voice in my head speak louder?

Practice.

I have practiced taking a breath and asking myself “is this really such a big deal?”

The answer is most often, “no”.

I also choose to believe that people/the world/the Universe/life is not out to get me, make things difficult for me, or trying to ruin my life.

I choose to believe that it’s not my fault. Or anyone’s fault in fact.

I choose to think that perhaps stuff like this just happens.

I choose to believe the real beauty that lies in self-mastery is when we can smile and chuckle our way through all those moments that previously may have frazzled our nerves or made us cry.

I choose peace.

Peace with what is. Peace with what has occurred. Peace within myself.

So how do you cope with those random, chaotic, little events that occur? What tips do you have that help you breeze through them?